At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
