what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
