pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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