Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize