'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
