We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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