Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
