ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
