It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
