im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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