Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
