omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
