booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
