youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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