I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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