would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
