She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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