The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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