I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I party with great urgency now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
