Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
