I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
pray to the hookup gods
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
