i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
