Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
