Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
