I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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