Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just tell him i said nine months
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
