I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
