if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
