I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
