Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
