She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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