Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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