well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
