You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
