he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
