Nicole vs. Life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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