I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
