i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
