rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude i'm inner monologue high
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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