So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
