Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm at about main and main street
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
