whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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