hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
