Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
