I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
