Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
