dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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