I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
