You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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