my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize